Fashion Critical casts her judgy eye upon our fair city – and here’s who makes her coveted list…
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I’m trying to remember who I was before I became an honorary Canberran on a pleasant spring November day in 2025.
There’s a vague memory of it, but I can’t quite pin it down. Like trying to remember the smell of the Impulse deodorant you wore in high school. You can REMEMBER that you liked the fragrance, but you can’t remember the smell itself. Basically, there’s FC BEFORE she was invited to our nation’s fair capital to attend a Women in Media special event, and there’s FC afterwards.
Let’s start from the beginning. One Em Rusciano – author, singer, performer, comedian, podcast host and generally clever sod – told me that Emma Macdonald, Associate Editor of this very publication in which we find ourselves, had expressed interest in finding me and inviting me to Canberra for a special evening of fashion and frivolity.
I was told that this Emma person was EXTREMELY powerful. So powerful in fact that making prolonged eye contact without permission once caused a man to become legally blind!
Not one to be intimidated, or to know who any high-profile person is on planet earth, I looked up this Emma person on the Instagram machine. “I hear you’re trying to find me,” I said. And thus ensued what can only be described as a diabolical torrent of text messaging between two women who were very excited and overstimulated in the best way possible.
Suffice to say, we hit it off. I decided instantly that we would be FIRM FRIENDS and I would indeed come to this Canberra place of which she spoke, which was apparently at the end of some yellow brick road built by Albo and his merry men in the North Pole. I feel I could be getting my stories confused, but close enough.
Within the space of three weeks – THERE I WAS – in the presence of the GREAT and POWERFUL Emma Macdonald. In her car, no less! Where she kindly brought me a hairbrush, deodorant and about 17 other things I had neglected to pack. She was a VERY GRACIOUS HOST.
Before I knew it, I had changed out of my trackie dacks and was whisked away to Grainger on Geelong for the very important Women in Media event that had been planned in MY HONOUR! I was nervous. These women, I had been told, were not only beautiful and stylish, but were worryingly clever and had jobs at places like the ABC and gasp – THE GOVERNMENT of Australia. These were HEAVY WEIGHTS who, for some reason, had decided to get frocked up and actually leave the house to see moi – a lowly street sweeper slash fashion critic slash internet persona slash recently published author.
I wore my finest Mary Ionnidis gown and cape and another custom headpiece from Somewhere Here and hoped that all of these smart women would not be able to tell that I had forgotten to pack at least 95 per cent of the required things I needed for my trip. To add insult to injury, Emma changed into an outfit that was CLEARLY designed to overshadow me with its staggering beauty. A ballgown skirt and crisp white shirt tied at the waist were offset by the greatest cheekbones anyone has ever had carved out of the tusks of ENDANGERED elephants. I was pretty cross about how hot she looked, but there was no time to dilly dally, as before we knew it, the women (and at least two men ) had begun to arrive.
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Each and every guest had brought their fashion A game. We saw headpieces and sequins, and I’m pleased to say that not a single toe violation was sustained. One ingenious woman even brought a steamer with her, lest somebody find themselves with crotch whiskers before they made it to the media wall. Another two gals proudly caught the bus in with a couple of coldies and had the pics to prove it. THESE WERE MY PEOPLE.
We sat down for a little “In conversation with” that was so fun that I disassociated for its entirety. I can only hope somebody can one day tell me what was said. I am pretty sure Albo appeared and presented me with the keys to the city, though there is apparently no digital evidence – photographic or otherwise – that this occurred.
Anyhoos – the whole night went by in a flash and I was delighted to be able to sign copies of my book and have many individual chats with the amazing guests in attendance.
Honestly, I felt like Cinderella at the ball and was on a high for the next 24 hours. Truly.
The following day, Emma took me shopping at a gorgeous shoe store called Sissa Sorella where I snapped up a pair of other-worldy gold heels. Heels which were promptly left behind in Emma’s car, along with two gorgeous bottles of local wine gifted to me by the Women in Media chapter. FASHUN + FORGETFULNESS = FC.
Thankfully, these items are currently on their way back to me, thanks to Australia Post, but what hasn’t been returned, is my lil’ FC heart– which has been well and truly left in my spiritual homeland of Canberra.
THANK YOU to everyone who attended the event, to HerCanberra, and Women in Media for having me. To the QT Canberra for hosting me in its gorgeous hotel and to everyone who was so lovely and full of joy and good cheer for the duration of my trip.
Please enjoy this collection of my favourite lewks from the night, as well as my critique on a few key Canberra icons.
Xoxo
FC
Photos by Fernanda Pedroso
